Yea, I know what your are feeling. I have a cousin that I thought at one time was very attractive. I found a thread in another chan with that all about her. She is like me smart, beautiful, shy and funny. I had the chance a couple of times to tell her how I felt and I blew that. The one time I know for sure it would have been okay, we were on a small day trip and the clutch went out on my car. well I got a little excited and a bit nervous because I wanted to make it home. I thought I was handeling the situation okay but then she barely whispered : you don't deserve it yet." I knew what she was talking about and I acted like I didn't here her. A few weeks later her boyfriend started playing games with her and I sent her a text and told her he was a jehaad hookface and that he was going to just dump her and she hasn't spoken to me since. Shortly after I told her that, he dropped her like a bad habit. He now works at disney. take your cousins on a trip to Florida. First cousin marriage is legal there.